


Anger, Depression, and Guilt

by felicityollies



Category: Arrow (TV 2012)
Genre: Anger, Angst, Depression, F/M, Fights, Guilt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-15
Updated: 2015-12-15
Packaged: 2018-05-06 21:05:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,163
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5430770
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/felicityollies/pseuds/felicityollies
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>post 4x09 both Oliver and Felicity dealing with the repercussions of the shooting.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Anger, Depression, and Guilt

Felicity had been more than frustrated with her entire situation. Getting shot, spending weeks in the hospital, and now she was stuck in this stupid chair. It was temporary, but it still felt like she was going to be in it forever. She didn’t think she was making fast enough progress in physical therapy. Just a few hours ago she found herself on the floor after trying to stand for more time than she was supposed to.

_“Felicity!”_

_“Oliver don’t.”_

_“I just want to help.”_

_“I can do it myself.”_

She struggled and fought her way back into the chair, but she did it. Her therapist told her that it was best they call it a day. Felicity would have rather tried again. She wanted to push herself to get better. She wasn’t going to let Darhk take anything from her. Anything else anyway. He had already tarnished one of the happiest moments of her life. It wasn’t fair. It wasn’t right and he was going to pay for it. 

Felicity rolled herself through the loft and into the guest bedroom. As much as it annoyed her she was getting better at moving herself around. She glanced over the messy room and sighed. She had moved down there because she couldn’t get up to the bed she shared with Oliver. Another thing that pissed her off. Oliver offered to carry her upstairs, but she refused to accept his help. She wasn’t going to let him baby her through this. She knew that he meant well, but she couldn’t stand letting him do that. 

She felt so angry all the time. She had snapped at Oliver, and the team, more than a few times over the past month or so. She wasn’t angry at them and she was sure that they knew that. She felt guilty for treating them that way. It wasn’t their fault that Darhk was a sick man hell bent on destroying the lives of others. He was the only person that she blamed. By the way Oliver was acting she knew he thought that he carried some of the blame, but he shouldn’t. It wasn’t his fault either. 

No, she was fully focused on Damien. That irritating smirk and disgusting laugh. The way he just didn’t care about anything he was doing. Of all the people she had dealt with in the past almost four years he was at the top of her list. Felicity hated him with every fiber of her being and it killed her that she couldn’t do anything to get him back. She gave a frustrated scream and smacked the arms of her chair until her hands her. Her chest was heavy with each breath she took. Tears started to burn in her eyes. They spilled down her cheeks as she started to sob. 

* * *

Oliver walked into the loft in time to hear the scream from down the hall. His chest tightened and he ran towards her. “Felicity.” He whispered.

“Don’t.” She choked out. 

“I’m not going to touch you.” He mumbled. He hated seeing her this way. When she had first come home there was a lot of anger, but it was mostly depression. Over time it had twisted into something dark. She was so full of rage and he understood it. It was just hard to see someone that was so bright and loving feeling like this. 

“I don’t want you to see me like this, Oliver.” She looked away from him as the tears continued to spill. 

“I’m not going to leave you here like this.” He said. “Felicity, please.” He reached for her, but she shook her head. 

Oliver felt his chest ache again. He was so worried that she was angry with him. He couldn’t help feeling that way. He watched her like this constantly. He dealt with the way she snapped at him and didn’t complain because he felt guilty. It was his fault that she was in the chair. He waved the red flag at the bull and the bull charged… repeatedly. 

Of all the things that had happened to her over the years that was his fault this was the worst. He’d been thinking about it often. The way he’d treated her only a few years ago. Snapping at her for silly things, going back and forth between whether or not he thought he could be with her or not, and the lies. God the lies. He was still lying to her and now he didn’t know how to even bring that up without screwing things up even more. He was to blame for more than emotional pain. He’d gotten her into a lot of situations where she could have really gotten hurt and now… He sucked in his breath and pulled his hand away. 

“Felicity, I love you. I know you’re angry… and you’re hurting.” He had felt a mixture of those emotions before, but he didn’t know if it was anything like what she was going through. “I want to help you. I want to be here for you. Please.” 

“I’m a mess.” She sniffled and wiped her cheeks. 

Oliver saw the ring still gently placed on her finger, but didn’t comment. He was grateful for it still being there. He wanted to marry her more than anything, but he continued to worry that she was going to change her mind. 

“You’re not.” He watched her carefully. 

Felicity let out a slow breath and shook her head. He swallowed thickly wondering what she was going to say. 

“How can you even say that when I’m sitting in front of you like this?” She slowly glanced up at him. 

“Because… I love you.” He fiddled with his fingers nervously.

He didn’t care how many angry outbursts he had to live through or how many depressive episodes. He was going to be there when she was having nightmares and when she became startled by noises that reminded her of gunshots. He was going to be there and still think of her as the most amazing woman he knew. He told her these things and watched as she slowly thought about it. 

“I love you too.” She finally mumbled. She seemed to have calmed down and Oliver was thankful. 

“Will you let me get you something?” He asked. 

Again she thought about it. Oliver understood that she was a strong woman and she wanted to prove to herself that she could do these things on her own. It was hard to not want to help her. He wanted to do whatever he could. He wanted to ease his guilt. 

“Maybe later.” She muttered. 

“Okay.” He took a step back from her. “I’ll just make dinner then.” He didn’t want to push it and risk her having another episode. 

“Thank you.” She said quietly. 

“You don’t have to thank me.” His voice was sad, but he meant what he said. He didn’t think she should be thanking him for anything.


End file.
